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Jokes Collections-1
Q. Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep?
A. So he could have sweet dreams.
Q. Why did the robber take a bath?A. Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
Q. What did the judge say to the dentist?A. Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
Q. What do you call a bear with no socks on?A. Bare-foot.
Q. What can you serve but never eat?A. A volleyball.
Q. What did one teddy bear say to the other teddy bear when he offered him some dessert?A. No thank you, I am stuffed.
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Q. What kind of shoes do all spies wear?
A. Sneakers.
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Q. What did one wall say to the other wall?
A. I'll meet you at the corner.
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Q. Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?
A. So he could tie the score.
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Q. Why is a baseball team similar to a muffin?
A. They both depend on the batter.
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Q. What did the alien say to the garden?
A. Take me to your weeder.
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Q. Have you heard the joke about the butter?
A. I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Q. How do baseball players stay cool?
A. Sit next to their fans.
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Q. What gets wetter the more it dries?
A. A towel.
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Q. Why was the math book sad?
A. Because it had too many problems.
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Q. What runs but doesn't get anywhere?
A. A refrigerator.
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A. Climb a tree and act like a nut!
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Q. What do you do with a blue whale?
A. Try to cheer him up!
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Q. How do you communicate with a fish?
A. Drop him a line!
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Q. Where do sheep go to get haircuts?
A. To the Baa Baa shop!
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Q. What does a shark eat with peanut butter?
A. Jellyfish!
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Q. Why was the pelican kicked out of the hotel?
A. Because he had a big bill!
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Q. What do cats eat for breakfast?
A. Mice Crispies!
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Q. What kind of dog tells time?
A. A watch dog!
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Q. Why can't a leopard hide?
A. Because he's always spotted!
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Q. What do you give a dog with a fever?
A. Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog!
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Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?
A. A sour puss!
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Q. Why do birds fly south for the winter?
A. Its easier than walking!
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Q. What kind of key opens a banana?
A. A monkey!
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Q. How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
A. Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?
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Q. Why does a hummingbird hum?
A. It doesn't know the words!
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Q. Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
A. Because they dropped out of school!
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Q. What goes up and down but doesn't move?
A. The temperature!
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Q. What two days of the week start with the letter "T"?
A. Today and Tomorrow!
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Q. Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?
A. Neither, they both weigh a ton!
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Q. What has four eyes but can't see?
A. Mississippi!
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A. A guy named woody.
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Q. What has one horn and gives milk
A. A milk truck.
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Q. Where do bulls get their messages
A. On a bull-etin board.
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Q. What do bulls do when they go shopping?
A. They CHARGE!
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Q. Why were the giant's fingers only eleven inches long?
A. Because if they were twelve inches long, they'd be a foot.
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Q. What is invisible and smells like carrots?
A. Bunny Farts!
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Q. What runs but can't walk?
A. The faucet!
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Q. What kind of bed does a mermaid sleep in?
A. A water bed!
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Q. What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup?
A. Firecrackers!
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Q. What did the teddy bear say when he was offered dessert?
A. No thanks, I'm stuffed!
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Q. Why did the barber win the race?
A. Because he took a short cut.
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Q. What's taken before you get it?
A. Your picture.
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Q. Why did the tree go to the dentist?
A. To get a root canal.
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Q. Why did the child study in the airplane?
A. He wanted a higher education!
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Q. Why was the broom late?
A. It over swept!
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Q. What did the fireman's wife get for Christmas?
A. A ladder in her stocking!
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Q. What did one virus say to another?
A. Stay away, I think I've got penicillin!
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Q. What did the tie say to the hat?
A. You go on ahead and I'll hang around!
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Q. What pet makes the loudest noise?
A. A trum-pet!
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Q. What is a tornado?
A. Mother nature doing the twist!
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A. He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
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Q. How do you tease fruit?
A. Banananananananana!
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Q. Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk?
A. Because he wanted to work over-time!
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Q. Why did Tommy throw the clock out of the window?
A. Because he wanted to see time fly!
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Q. How does a moulded fruit-flavoured dessert answer the phone?
A. Jell-o!
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Q. When do you stop at green and go at red?
A. When you're eating a watermelon!
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Q. How did the farmer mend his pants?
A. With cabbage patches!
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Q. Why don't they serve chocolate in prison?
A. Because it makes you break out!
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Q. What do you call artificial spaghetti?
A. Mockaroni!
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Q. What happens to a hamburger that misses a lot of school?
A. He has a lot of ketchup time!
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Q. Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job?
A. He couldn't concentrate!
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Q. How do you repair a broken tomato?
A. Tomato Paste!
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Q. Why did the baby strawberry cry?
A. Because his parents were in a jam!
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Q. What did the hamburger name his daughter?
A. Patty!
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Q. What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay?
A. A deviled egg!
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Q. What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving?
A. A turkey!
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Q. What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?
A. A stomach-cake!
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Q. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A. He felt crummy!
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Q. When does a cart come before a horse?
A. In the dictionary!
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Q. Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
A. She couldn't control her pupils!
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3.26 Copyright (C) 2008 Compojoom.com / Copyright (C) 2007 Alain Georgette / Copyright (C) 2006 Frantisek Hliva. All rights reserved."
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